Secrets of a Happy Life: Make Connections, Not Comparisons

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” - Theodore Roosevelt

With my 29th birthday right around the corner (for perhaps 15 years give or take), I have been reflecting on birthdays past.  Kidding - I am happy to have a fitness age that rivals many 20-year-olds (but who’s comparing?!) and am not in the practice of pretending to be anything I'm not.  With that in mind, I hope you’ve had a chance to read “Keeping it Real!”.

The world of social media can be a treacherous place.  As I mentioned previously, it is one I actively avoided until this year.  I had witnessed the negative side far too often.  It seemed to be a land built on facades, artificial pretenses, and soul-destroying comparisons.  I was seeing people in therapy who were addicted to it yet battered by it.  Individuals who berated themselves for their private demons, their problems and insecurities amplified by seeing only others’ well-edited highlight reels.  Despite being well “connected”, they were profoundly disconnected.  From real emotion, real communication, real people, real life.  And even from themselves.

Creating Your Own Happiness: Find Your Courage, Be Authentic

Upon entering this new world, I vowed to be brave and authentic and to avoid the numbers game.  To put out quality work and never compromise my integrity or my values.  To admit my shortcomings and my fuck-ups (and my occasional potty mouth).  But also to share what I have learned and, in the process, help guide others to a place of both personal acceptance and personal growth.

Dr. Tara’s Sunshine has been such a rewarding labour of love, and it has evolved in an honest and organic way.  I have rediscovered my love for writing, for experimenting in the kitchen, for creating.  However, being a “one woman show” has at times seemed incredibly overwhelming.  How do I “keep up” and find a place among the hordes with more time and money to invest, with helping hands behind the scenes, with the energy and beauty of youth?  Yes, I, too, periodically struggle with that comparison beast.  And she gathers momentum by joining forces with people-pleasing, perfectionism & the all too familiar imposter syndrome.  When these brutes bare their ugly heads, my enjoyment of the process wanes and I question my decision, my contribution, and even my value.

Dr. Tara's Sunshine Reminder: Embrace Your Passion & Your Purpose

It’s at these times that I need to pause.  To take a big breath.  And then another.  To reach out to my tribe.  To remind myself of my purpose, my passion and my “why”.  Certainly, the goal was never to have 10,000 followers...

I suspect my story resonates with many of you.  Truth be told, we are a society of comparison junkies and people are being compared to one another everywhere we turn.  So how can we come clean and liberate ourselves?  

Next week, I will provide a new post with tips and suggestions for doing just this.  In the meantime, I encourage you to take some time to think about where and when comparisons trip you up in your own life and relationships.